Walk Through the Fire
by lovelyladylily22
Summary: Buffy has been traveling the world, finding Slayers. Every night, she dreams of Spike, unable to forget him. When Willow suggests taking a vacation, Buffy's all for it. But she might find more than she had hoped in L.A. Definitely Spuffy, sort of set after NFA, though mostly AU. My first BTVS fan fiction.


((I just want to preface this by saying, while I'm a writer, this is the first fan fiction I had written in a really long time. I wrote it for a fan page I run on Facebook ( pages/Buffyverse/161824483973920). It's not the best quality, but I hope you'll like it anyway! :) I don't own the characters, who all belong to the great and powerful Joss Whedon. ))

Buffy Summers had lived in Sunnydale for years. She met her best friends there. Her mother had died there. But after everything that had happened, after the town collapsed upon itself, she never looked back. Not when it came to the small town that had once sat upon a Hellmouth.

She had moved around quite a lot since, setting up forces all over the world, forces of Slayers who, through Willow's spell had gone from being Potentials to being full-fledged Slayers over night. She loved every second of it. She loved training the other Slayers. But something was missing. Xander was oblivious to Buffy's moods. For him, the whole thing was an adventure.

So it was a visit from Willow, who had returned to England to finish her studies of Magic after the events at the Hellmouth, that first brought Buffy's dark mood to light. Almost immediately, Willow could tell something was wrong with Buffy, but she couldn't tell quite what. She pulled Buffy aside and decided to ask.

"Buffy, are you alright? You seem…less than happy." Buffy sighed, and dropped the smile from her face. Sitting down, she covered her face with her hands.

"How can I be okay, Will? After everything that's happened? How is any of this okay?" Willow sat down beside her. She took her friend's hand, squeezing it gently.

"This isn't making sense. You sounded happy the last time we talked. Was that an act? Have you been unhappy since…." Willow trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence. Buffy nodded, fighting to get her words past the lump in her throat.

"He got his soul back for me, Will. And then he sacrificed himself. To save the world. In the end, Spike was the strongest man I've known. There was a time he was a monster, but in the end, he was so much more than a vampire. And I never got the chance to tell him that." Buffy dropped her gaze to the table, remembering a time that now seemed so long ago.

"_Be easier, wouldn't it? If it were an act? But it isn't. You faced the monster inside and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You_ ARE. _You may not see it yet, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike."_

She had meant those words with every fiber of her being. She had believed in him. She had seen that he had become something so much more than the Big Bad he had been when they met. But until she had realized he was dying, she had never been able to open herself up to him enough to say the words. And when she had said it, in his final moments, he hadn't believed her.

"_I love you."_

"_No you don't. But thanks for saying it."_

He had given his life for her, for everything. And he hadn't believed her when she said those three words. Still, she couldn't blame him. How many times had she refused him?

"_Do you trust me?" He said, as they lay wrapped up in his rug. She looked at him for less then a second before responding._

"_Never."_

There were the times when she said she could never love him.

"_Because you love me."_

"_No. I don't."_

"_Why do you keep lying to yourself?:_

"_How many times do- I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love." She had admitted she had feelings for him then, even if she had still refused him._

"_Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes." She sighed._

"_Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last."_

The closest she had come to admitting her feeling had been, not to Spike, but to Angel. She had said Spike was in her heart and meant it. She meant it with everything she had. So why had she never told him? Why had she waited until it was to late to make him believe her?

Willow cleared her throat, jerking Buffy out of her reverie. Willow's gaze was intent. Buffy tried to wipe any trace of emotion from her face, but she knew her friend was astute enough to pick up on the myriad of emotions swirling through her head.

"How come you never said anything? To any of us? I mean, I get keeping it from Xan, but from me? I could have maybe helped. Buffy, you can't keep these things inside. It's not healthy. I had no idea you felt so deeply for him. I mean, sure, I knew that you two had been sleeping together, but that was before. I thought it had all ended when…" Again, Willow trailed off. Buffy knew all too well how that sentence would end. She shook her head.

"It…was over. We never did anything after that. But that doesn't mean I stopped caring about him. Especially after everything he went through to get his soul. And then everything that the First did to him. God, Willow. He died to save us. ALL of us. How can I just ignore that. I can't just stop caring about him after everything." Buffy exhaled, trying to calm the frustration she felt.

Willow looked at her, her eyes full of caring and understanding. She squeezed Buffy's hand gently again, pulling her friend into a hug a few seconds later.

"I think you need a vacation. Why don't you come with Giles and me to L.A.? It might be good for you to go back to California. Surely, you can take a few days off from training? Faith could step up and take over till you get back." Willow smiled at her friend encouragingly. At first, she was sure Buffy was planning on finding an excuse not to. After all, it would put her in close proximity to Angel. But slowly, Buffy nodded.

"I think that sounds like a great idea. I'll go talk to Faith." Buffy walked out of the room to the living room and picked up the phone.

Spike was back inside the Hellmouth. When the amulet started to get warm, he realized what he needed to do. He didn't think twice about it. Not even when Buffy walked over to him. She was everything he had wanted for so long. He had gotten his soul back because of her.

_ "For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev... To be a kind of man. And she shall look on him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved."_

But he hadn't been loved. At least, not by her. She had never said it to him. Not even the night he had gone to her, telling her exactly how he felt.

"_You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood... which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You... Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One, Buffy."_

That night had been the best night of his entire existence. But even after she had asked him to stay with her, to hold her while they slept, she had never said it. She had waited until the very end, and she had said it only to comfort him in his final moments. After all, how many times had she said she could never love him?

When the fire had consumed him from the inside out, his last thought had been her. Her face had been all he could see in his last moments.

It felt like moments later when he had appeared in the office at Wolfram and Hart. In fact, it had been nineteen days later. Spike remembered only pain, the searing of a fire.

It was this searing pain that he woke up with at two-thirty in the afternoon. He should still have been asleep, but dreaming about the fire woke him up. It always did. He had tried to drink the dreams away, but it never worked. But dreams about his death was better than the dreams about his unlife. Memories of Buffy had been stirring lately, and they brought a sort of melancholy with them.

_ He had gone to her house, furious with her, planning to kill her. Or at the very least rough her up a bit. She had said he was _'beneath her'. _She had looked at him with such utter loathing. He had left Harmony in the crypt to go to her house, armed with a rifle. He found her sitting on the steps of her front porch. _

_ "What do you want now?" She said, as she looked up at him, her face tearstained. Something about her crying made his rage disappear. He couldn't hate her, not when she looked so sad. _

_ "What's wrong?" he asked. She looked away at first._

_ "I don't wanna talk about it." He lowered the gun. _

_ "Is there something I can do?" he asked in a stilted voice, unsure if he should even be asking it. There was a moment of silence, she didn't answer, and finally, he went to sit beside her. _

It was dreams like that one that made his entire being ache for her. Sure, she had said she could never love him. But he had felt more alive beside her than he ever had, even when he had truly been alive. His heart, which hadn't beat in so long, ached for her. What made it worse was knowing that ponce of a vampire Angel was right. He didn't deserve her. He wanted to though. He wanted to be the kind of man she deserved.

The problem was, he didn't know quite how to go about that. So instead, he killed time. He drank. _A lot. _He spent time with Harmony, and found it as dull as ever. He terrorized Angel. Now that _was_ fun.

Taking a drink of the whiskey in his hand, he sighed. It had been a very long year. The events at the Hellmouth should have been getting easier to deal with after everything else that had happened. Instead, it seemed they were fresh in his mind, as though they had only happened yesterday.

He thought that her being on the other side of the world would help. Last he had heard, she was in Rome. But it didn't. It only made the ache that much worse. It only made dreams about her that much harder.

_ She had come to him. She needed a place to hide her mother and the Little Bit. And she had come to _him. _Glory had threatened them, and Buffy had turned to him, of all people._

_ "You're the only one strong enough to protect them." she had said, a look of desperation in her eyes. _

That dream always led to a harder one. One he'd wake up literally screaming from. It was one he had tried so hard to get out of his mind, but nothing had ever helped.

_ He had been trying to protect Dawn. It was the one thing Buffy had asked him to do. He had promised her. But in the end, he had been thrown off the top of Glory's tower. The end of the world had been started and Buffy had jumped into the portal to close it. _

_ In the aftermath of the battle, they found her. Her body was twisted at an odd angle, but there was a look of…peace on her face. He couldn't help it. He broke down. She had held his heart, and now she was gone. _

When he woke from these dreams, nothing could take the ache away. Most of the time, he'd go for walks. Occasionally, he'd find Angel at the local bar. Although they had a shared hatred for each other, thoughts of the Slayer gave them something to share. It was a bitter topic for both of them, but they kept circling back to it.

So it was, during one of these nights when Spike found Angel in the bar after a particularly bad dream, that they both swore they saw her. It was only briefly, like when they were in Rome, but they were so sure they had seen her, that they took off after, shoving each other to get out of the door first. In the time it took for them to get through the door, they lost the girl who looked like Buffy.

"It couldn't have been her. She's still in Rome according to Andrew. I just spoke with him yesterday." Angel turned to Spike, sounding more like he was trying to reassure himself.

"Sure, mate. And Andrew is known for being honest." Spike started up the street, leaving Angel at the bar. He figured a walk might help clear his mind some more. He had no idea where he would go, but he knew the walking would help, somehow. So he walked. Eventually, he found himself back at Harmony's apartment. He decided to go up and see her, hoping that, dull as time with her always was, it would distract him enough to help him forget the dream.

"Bloody hell. What is it with you, Captain Forehead? Why is it I can't go anywhere in this town without running…" Spike trailed off when he saw Willow. He opened his mouth once to say something, but quickly closed it again, not finding the right words. She walked over to him, and unexpectedly hugged him. Releasing him, she shocked him once more by slapping him, hard.

"We thought you were dead. How long have you been hiding out here?" He took a step back, away from the fiery red-headed witch. She looked good. The year since he had seen her last had been good to her.

"Nineteen days after Sunnydale I came back. Well, if you could call it that. I was incorporeal for three months after that." The little witch glared at him. Angel stood and walked towards them, grabbing Willow's arm, but she shook him off.

"You've been back that long? And you didn't call?" Willow took a step, till she was in Spike's face. He glared down at her. The door behind him opened again, the twinkling bell chiming as someone else entered the café. Spike turned his head slightly, aware for the first time of the spectacle they were making.

"Well, there wasn't much point in it was there?" he said quietly. "We saw Buffy in Rome cozying up to the Immortal." At this Willow burst into laughter. Angel and Spike looked at each other, confusion clear on both of their faces. She managed to get her words out between spurts of laughter.

"Buffy…wasn't…in…Rome. It was a…double!" She took a deep breath and looked up at Spike, who glared at her. He didn't find anything about this funny, but apparently Red did. Angel looked just as shocked as he felt. Just then, the door opened again, and a familiar laugh accompanied the twinkling bell. Spike spun around, seeing the little girl, although she was by no means 'little' anymore.

Dawn hadn't noticed him just yet. He took a step back, trying to blend in with the crowd. She noticed Angel first, which ticked Spike off somehow. But he tried to walk towards the door, unseen. He knew without a doubt that he was unprepared to see Buffy…especially with the dream so fresh in his mind. He had to get out of there. Fast.

"Dawny, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the hotel with the others?" Willow stepped forward, her eyes drifting to Spike for only a second, but it was enough. He stood frozen to the spot, held there by magic of some kind.

"Kennedy called and said you had some plan to meet Angel. I thought you might need some back-up, so I ditched Giles and Buffy to follow you here." Willow glared at Dawn.

"So Buffy's here then?" Angel said, in a guarded voice. Dawn looked up at him. Then, she noticed his glare. She followed his line of sight to the bleached blonde head. Dawn's mouth dropped open. She looked from Willow, to Angel, then back at Spike.

"You see him too right? It's not like when the First was trying to drive us all mad, right?" Dawn took a step towards Spike reaching her fingers out till they touched his chest.

When her fingertips touched his chest, they both jumped. He looked down at her and the girl grinned.

"I _KNEW _it! I knew you couldn't really be dead. But no. No one listens to me!" Dawn leapt up and hugged Spike. His arms wrapped around her, instinctively at first, but quickly turning into a genuine hug.

"Hi there, Bit. How have you been?" She stepped back, and a glare replaced her smile. He knew what was coming, or at least thought he did.

"How come you never told us you were back?" She took a step away from him, till she was standing beside Willow. He looked at her carefully. He was unsure quite how to answer her. Looking up, he noticed something the others hadn't. The great ponce had vanished. Taken off while they were all distracted by Dawn's arrival.

"Where'd the great poof go?" Willow turned, taking in the empty spot beside her. She sighed.

"He probably went to see Buffy. What'd you expect exactly? You had all the time you needed to tell her you were back. But no! You had to hide it from all of us! Why? Why not just tell us you were back?" Willow took a step towards him again. Spike glanced towards the door, wanting nothing more than to leave and beat Angel to wherever Buffy was. But he knew that he would never get her to listen to him. So he sighed. And then he began to talk. They sat back down at the table Willow and Angel had been seated at previously.

"When I first got back, I was incorporeal. But it was worse than that. I was stuck here. I couldn't leave. And then came the moments I started slipping into Hell." He shuddered slightly at the memory. "Anyway, when I got my corporeal form back, there was this whole complicated thing. And besides, it's not like Buffy really would have wanted me around." He looked down at the table. "I can't even do the whole "_champion_" thing right." He sighed_. _Then he looked up at Willow. She had a look of consternation on her face. She turned to Dawn first.

"Dawny, can you go order me a coffee?" Willow pointed to the counter. Dawn glared at Willow for a second before standing up. As she walked away, she grumbled under her breath. Willow turned her attention back to Spike.

"If you ever repeat this to anyone, I swear I will tie you to a cross and send you to Hawaii. Understood?" Spike nodded, his eyes huge. The witch meant business. Whatever it was she had to say was vitally important.

"Buffy, well, she's been…kind of miserable since you died. She's been hiding it from everyone. But the truth is, she misses you. I think she's even been having dreams about you. But she refuses talk about it to anyone, even me. I got her to tell me a little bit, which is actually the real reason we're here. She needed a distraction…" Willow looked down at the table, sheepishly. "Of course, she doesn't know the real reason I'm here. I did a…sort of spell. I was trying to find you in another dimension, just to…make sure you were okay. But I obviously couldn't find you. So I came to talk to Angel. I thought maybe he'd have some idea which Hell dimension I should check. But I could tell he was hiding something…which is why I insisted on meeting him." Spike huffed.

"And now the great ponce is off finding Buffy." He glared at the table. "Maybe that's how it should be, though." Spike looked up at Willow to find her glaring at him.

"What happened to the Spike who risked everything to find his soul so that she would care for him? What happened to the Spike who risked everything to protect Dawn, because he had made a promise? What happened to the Spike who died saving the world? If your gonna sit around here moping instead of doing something about it, then no, you really don't deserve her." Willow stood and, after grabbing Dawn, left the café.

Buffy and Giles had spent all day wandering the streets of L.A. After a few hours, Dawn had gotten bored, and Buffy had agreed to let her go back to the hotel where Willow was. It wasn't until much later that they found the girl.

She was about thirteen. Younger than even Buffy had been. She had long black hair and piercing hazel eyes. When they found her, she was fighting off three male vampires. It didn't take long for one of them to overpower her, but Buffy stepped in, and quickly took care of all of them.

"Hi. It's okay. You're safe for now." Buffy extended her hand to help the girl up. "I'm Buffy. I think we've been looking for you." The girl giggled slightly.

"And here I thought _I _had a funny name. I'm Ariel. Like the mermaid." Ariel rolled her eyes. "Thanks for your help. But I could have taken care of them. I have, for the last year, had to fight vampires like those off constantly." She looked up at Buffy, as though expecting disbelief. Buffy shook her head.

"You're not alone. I've been doing this since I was fifteen. Come with us, so we can talk, okay?" Buffy and Giles lead the girl back to their car. For being so young, she had no reservations about getting into the car with them.

"I've been on the streets for the last year. After vampires destroyed my house trying to get to me, my parents kicked me out. Ever since then, I've been on the run. I can't stay in any place very long, because when I do, they find me again." Buffy nodded.

"We can help you with that. You're a Slayer. It's your destiny to fight them. But you need training. We're here to help you with that." The girl looked up at Buffy with wide, frightened eyes. Buffy couldn't help but feel somewhat sorry for the girl. She reached out and touched her hand.

"It'll be okay, alright? We'll keep you safe until you're better prepared." Buffy looked up at Giles who nodded his agreement. Giles drove to the hotel. Ariel and Buffy spent the driving talking about their lives. As it turned out, Ariel had known about the destruction of Sunnydale. Willow and Dawn were in Buffy and Dawn's room when they got up there. Buffy introduced Ariel to her sister and Willow. Dawn started to say something to Buffy, but a look from Willow silenced her.

"Ariel is the Slayer we're here looking for. She's agreed to go back with us so Xander and I can start training her." Buffy looked at Willow, trying to figure out what was going on.

"That's great! So we can go home tomorrow?" Willow looked at her friend, trying to keep her face impassive. Buffy nodded.

:~:~:~:

That night, she had the dream again. It started as it always did.

_ Glory had taken Spike. Her motives for saving him had been strictly for Dawn's safety. She actually went in planning to kill Spike so he wouldn't be able to tell Glory anything. But when they found him, he was covered in bruised. Glory had done everything she could to make him talk, but Spike had refused. _

_In the end, after realizing what he had gone through, Buffy went to him. _

_ "Spike! You're covered in sexy wounds!" Buffy walked towards him, pretending to be the Buffybot._

_ "Yeah, I feel real sexy. Where you been?" He sits up gingerly._

_ "I fell down and got confused. Willow fixed me. She's gay!"_

_ "Will fixed you? I'd have thought they'd have melted you to scrap."_

_ "They were confused too. Do you wanna ravage me now?"_

_ "Give us a minute. Got some bones need mending."_

_ "Why did you let that Glory hurt you?" _

_ "She wanted to know who the Key was."_

_ "Well, I can tell her, and then you…" Spike interrupts as Buffy turns to the door._

_** "**__No!" He coughs with the effort. "You can't ever. Glory never finds out."_

_ "Why?"_

_** "**__ Cause Buffy, the other, not-so-pleasant Buffy... Anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did." Buffy kissed him. She could tell the instant he realized it was her. He pulled away and looked at her confusion turning to understanding. She started to walk away._

_** "**__And my robot?" Buffy turns back to look at him._

_** "**__The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene."_

_ "It wasn't supposed to…" She interrupted him. _

_ "Don't. That thing, it wasn't even real. She started to walk away from him again, before turning back around. "What you did for me and Dawn... that was real. I won't forget it."_

Of course, the dream always changed here. The scene always faded into another memory, one that was just as hard for her to cope with now.

_ It was the night of the fight with Glory, when she asked him to take care of Dawn. She knew the hopelessness of the situation, but she trusted him with Dawn's life. In that moment, she knew he was the only other one strong enough to keep Dawn safe._

_ "I'm counting on you to protect her."_

_** "**__Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight."_

_** "**__I'll be a minute." His next words were clearly filled with the emotion behind them. She turned to look back at him for a moment._

_** "**__I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's...Get your stuff. I'll be here."_

Then the scene always flickered. From there, it was snapshots of memories. The first time she had seen him after coming back. Telling him the truth she couldn't bear to tell the others. But one moment always came into focus in glaring detail. The moment she realized just what he had gone through in the name of love.

_ It was nighttime. She had followed him to the church, sure he had lost it. _

_ "I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams." She grabbed a piece of wood off the floor from the broken pew to use as a stake if he tried anything. "So weak... did you make me weak? Thinking of you. Holding myself and spilling useless buckets of salt over your... ending. Angel, he should've warned me." That's when the realization hit her. She felt a lump form in her throat, unable to get words past it. She watched him. _

_ "Makes a good show of forgetting, but it's here. In me. All the time. The spark. I wanted to give you... what you deserve. And I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn."_

_ "Your soul?" She looked up at him, feeling a sudden chill. She turned to him. _

_ "Bit worse for lack of use." _

_ "You got your soul back? How?" She spoke through the emotion._

_ "It's what you wanted, right?" He looks up at the ceiling before saying, "It's...it's what you wanted, right? And-and now everybody's in here...talking. Everything I did...everyone I...and HIM. And it. The other. The thing...beneath...beneath you. It's here, too. Everybody. They all just tell me go. Go... to Hell."_

_ "Why? Why would you do that?" Now she understood. His soul was driving him mad. It had brought back everything he had ever done wrong._

_ "Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he musn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev... To be a kind of man." He starts towards a cross. "And she shall look on him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything's okay, right? C-can we rest now?" He leans against the cross, smoke rising from the contact. "Buffy? Can we rest?" _

Usually, this was the point she woke up at. Mercifully, her mind had stopped playing back his death. Sometimes, she couldn't help but see the moment. Their hands entwined, catching on fire. This particular night, she saw it all. And she hated herself for it. She hated that she had been so unable to say those three words until it was too late. She hated that he couldn't believe her when she said them because of all the things she had said and done. In the end, she had loved him. How couldn't she?

She woke up to Willow shaking her. Her throat felt dry and scratchy, but it was Willow's concerned look that said it all. Buffy had been crying out in her sleep. This was the reason back home, she stayed out on patrol while Dawn and Xander slept. It was the only way to keep the others from hearing her cries of frustration.

She sat up, wiping the tears and sleep from her eyes. Willow gave her a pained look, clearly dying to tell her something, but conflicted about it.

"Come on Buffy. Lets go for a walk, okay?" Buffy nodded, feeling concerned. She dressed quickly, throwing on jeans and a white sweater. Willow was acting funny. Buffy wanted to get to the bottom of it.

As the sun started to rise, they made their way to a little café. Buffy sat at a table near the window while Willow ordered drinks for them. Willow came back and sat at the table with her hands wrapped around her mug of coffee.

"I haven't been altogether truthful. I came here specifically to talk to Angel about something." She looked down at the table, refusing to meet Buffy's eyes. "I tried…a spell. I just wanted to make sure Spike was okay. That he wasn't suffering too horribly. But I couldn't find him. I looked in so many different Hell dimensions. Finally, I thought that Angel might be able to help me track down which one." Finally, she looked up at Buffy, her eyes filled with unshed tears. She shook her head.

"I thought it was simple. But it's not. It's SO not." She looked back down at the table. Buffy reached out a hand and took her friend's hand, squeezing it gently.

"Whatever it is, Willow, you can tell me. Please. I want to know. Even if it's bad. I _need _to know. And maybe, just maybe we can do something for him." Willow looked up again. She shook her head. "Yeah, I figured that was a long shot."

"No, it's not that we _can't_ do anything for him. It's that we don't have to. He's not dead…well, okay, he's still a vampire and I guess that technically makes him dead…but he's not in some Hell dimension." Buffy looked at her friend, confused.

_ If he's not in a Hell dimension then where is he? _She thought to herself. It took a minute, but finally, Willow's expression made something click in Buffy's head.

"You…you mean…he's here? But how? That can't be possible! I saw him. He died. Willow this isn't funny. Please." Buffy's eyes glistened with the tears she was holding back. She stood, looking at her friend, sure this was some kind of nasty joke. She turned, and walked out of the café.

Spike had gone home, feeling horrible. He knew Red had been right. He was an idiot. He should have said something. But what was there to say?

_ "Hey, so I'm not dead anymore…or at least not in a Hell dimension anyway." _He shook his head. Yeah, that would sound great.

"Bollocks." he said as he entered his tiny apartment. He almost didn't see the blonde vampire sitting there in the dark. "Harmony, I thought you said you never wanted to see me again? What are you doing here? And how did you get in?" He glared at her. And for a moment, she glared back. Then she stood, and took a few sultry steps towards him.

"Oh come on Blondie Bear. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. After all, by now Buffy," Harmony said the name with a sneer on her face. "has to know you're here. And clearly she hasn't come looking for you. I've been here all day waiting for you, and she hasn't come by once." Harmony looked up at him, batting her eyelashes. "And here, I waited for you all day, even after the nasty things you've said and done to me." She pressed a hand against his chest, digging her nails in.

"Stop, Harm. We're not going to play this little game right now. You need to leave. Now." He turned and walked away from her, back towards the small kitchen. In the fridge, he pulled out the bottle of whiskey. Pouring himself a glass, he took a sip, but realized Harmony hadn't left.

"I told you to leave. Get. Out. Do I need to be any clearer?" He looked up at her, and she stared back at him. Suddenly, the anger he had been feeling all day got the better of him, and he threw the glass of whiskey, aiming for Harmony's head, but missing by several feet. Bursting into tears, she ran from his apartment.

Feeling lower than he had in a very long time, he poured another glass and sank into the overstuffed easy chair that the apartment had come with.

Unbidden, the memory came. Nothing he could do would shake it off.

_ He had returned from the mission he had been sent on with Andrew to find that the Potentials, the Scoobies, and Faith had kicked Buffy out. He was furious. He decided to go look for her, finally finding her at an abandoned house. She looked so…broken. He tried to give her a reason to go on. To fight. But as always, she pushed his buttons._

_ "We were never close. You just wanted me because I was... Unattainable."_

_ "You think that's all that was?"_

_ "Please,, let's not go over the past._

_** "**__ Oh, no, no! Oh, let's hold on here! I've hummed along to your pity ditty. I think I should have the mic for a bit."_

_** "**__Fine. The stage is yours. Cheer me up."_

_** "**__You're insufferable."_

_ "Thank you. That really helped."_

_** "**__ I'm not tryin' to cheer you up._

_** "**__Then what are you trying to say?"_

_** "**__I don't know! I'll know when I'm done sayin' it. Something pissed me off, and I just- "unattainable," that's it."_

_** "**__Fine. I'm attainable. I'm a- I'm an "attain-a-thon." May I please just go to sleep?" He knelt down in front of her, looking up at her._

_** "**__You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood... which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You…" He reached for her, but she turned her head away, looking at the ground._

_ "Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything." She looked back up at him, looked him in the eyes. "When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One, Buffy." Tears started streaming down her cheeks. _

_** "**__I don't want to be the One."_

_** "**__I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear." She laughed._

That was the best night of his existence. She had asked him to stay. To hold her. And sleeping that night, wrapped in each other's arms had been…he didn't have the words to describe it. And now, he was hiding from her. Sure, that wasn't really what he was trying to do. But on some subconscious level, that's exactly what he was doing.

"Bloody Hell, Red's right." He stood, putting the still full glass of whiskey back on the counter. "I need to get this over with. And the sooner the better. Maybe then, I can at least sleep for once." He shrugged back into his long black leather coat, and left the apartment. He wasn't sure where to go at first, but then a thought occurred to him. Angel knew. He knew where Buffy and Willow had been staying. So, Spike decided it was time to talk to the ponce…even if Spike had to beat the information out of Captain Forehead.

Buffy had gone back to the hotel in a bit of a snit. How could Willow…Willow who had been picked on in school…be so mean? So cruel? Willow was the one person Buffy had divulged her feelings to. And Willow was now the person using them against Buffy.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't see the man in front of her until she ran into him…literally. She looked up and started to apologize before she recognized Angel. She sighed, before she spoke.

"Angel? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to run you over. I was just…" She trailed off looking up at the vampire who had been her first love. He smiled down at her, and she felt a smile break out, more out of old habit than anything else.

"Wow, Buffy, you look great. I was hoping to catch you, but Giles said you might be leaving today. I just found out you were in town last night and hoped to catch you before…" He trailed off, noticing for the first time that she was glaring at him.

"Willow says she talked to you. I'm not sure if she put you up to coming here or not, and I don't care. But I want to know if it's true that you met with her last night." He paled, which told Buffy it was true. She took a step towards him.

"Then it's true? All those times you talked to Andrew or Giles and you never said? Why?" Angel glared at her for a second.

"First of, Andrew knows. We saw him in Rome. We went looking. For _YOU_. And we thought we saw you too. Dancing in a club. With the Immortal. Only last night, did I find out it wasn't really you. And why are you mad at me? He's had nine months to tell you himself. He didn't. Shows how much he cares about you." Buffy glared. In that moment, she had no love for Angel. She turned and left the hotel, knowing that it would be harder for him to follow her with the sun up. She set off, walking back in the direction of the café.

It wasn't long before she ran into Willow, who looked like she had been crying. Buffy apologized, and then explained about her run-in with Angel.

"So I know you were right. I'm sorry I doubted you, Will. It's just…why wouldn't he come to me? Doesn't he care?" Willow grabbed her friend's hand and led he to a nearby park bench.

"Do you want my honest opinion? Cuz you may not like it very much." Buffy nodded slowly. Willow sighed.

"You spent half the time pushing him away, telling him he'd never be good enough. And we all agreed with you. The other half of the time, you were sneaking around, sleeping with him. You knew. You knew how he felt about you. You knew you were using him. But you still did it." Buffy started to protest and Willow held up her hands. "Don't get me wrong. He did a lot of bad stuff. Heck, he tried to kill all of us at one point or another, except Dawn. I know better than anyone all the evil things he's done. But Buffy, he went and got his soul. For _YOU_. The only reason he was able to withstand everything Glory and the First did…for you. Buffy, he died saving the world. For you. And yet, he still feels like he could never deserve you. Like he's beneath you. Can you really blame him for that?" Willow looked at her friend, as Buffy allowed a few tears to leak from her eyes.

She knew Willow was right. She had been cruel with her words. But the thought of loving him, knowing what he had once been had scared Buffy, so much so, that it wasn't until she saw him dying that she realized it was already too late. She did love him. That's what the dreams had been trying to tell her all along. That's why the dreams were always the moments when he showed the softer side of himself. The side that he never showed anyone else.

She took a ragged breath. Then, she looked up at her friend.

"I know you're right. But…" She looked down at her hands again. She didn't know how to continue. In a second, she didn't need to. A figure walked up, casting a shadow across Willow's face. The next thing Buffy knew, everything went dark.

:~:~:~:

Buffy awoke with a throbbing headache. Someone had hit her, or at least that's what the large bump on the back of her head lead her to believe. She tried to take in her surroundings, but found the action of moving her head dizzying.

Just as panic was beginning to set in, she heard something. It was quiet at first, muttered and mumbled as though the speaker was drunk, or really out of it. But slowly, the words caught at her mind, and formed the melody of the song.

_ Early one morning,  
Just as the sun was rising,  
I heard a maid sing,  
In the valley below._

_Oh, don't deceive me,  
Oh, never leave me,  
How could you use  
A poor maiden so?_

Remember the vows,  
That you made to your Mary,  
Remember the bower,  
Where you vowed to be true,

_Oh, don't deceive me,  
Oh, never leave me,  
How could you use  
A poor maiden so?_

_Thus sang the poor maiden,  
Her sorrows bewailing,  
Thus sang the poor maid,  
In the valley below._

_Oh, don't deceive me,  
Oh, never leave me,  
How could you use  
A poor maiden so?_

Realization hit Buffy hard. She knew that voice. It was the voice that had haunted her dreams for so long. She sat up, trying to force her eyes to adjust.

"Spike? Is that you?" She reached out, finding her hands bound together, but in front of her instead of behind. She groped in the darkness for him, but something kept her from moving too far from the wall. Finally, her eyes adjust enough to see him. He's lying on the floor a few feet away from her, blood from a gash on his forehead and a wound on his cheek staining the floor.

"Spike, look at me!" He did, but his eyes were glassy and unfocused. And when he spoke, she realized he was really out of it. He thought she was the First again.

"I had a speech... I learned it all... Oh god, she won't understand, she won't understand…" His words were slurred, and Buffy suspected it wasn't from drinking. She decided to try again.

"Spike, come on. Snap out of it. I know you can fight this."

"Scream "Montresor" all you like, pet." She looked at him, trying desperately to scoot closer to him. Just an inch, or two, and she could reach his head. She strained against the chain holding her to a steel pole. It dug into her abdomen, but still she strained. Finally, she did it. The chain dug into her skin, bruising her, but she didn't care. She reached out, touching his skin with her fingertips.

"I'm not ready for you not to be here" He looked up at her then, his eyes still hazy, but he smiled slightly. The pain from the chains became too much, and she was forced to scoot back against the bar. Spike looked almost…disappointed as she did.

Spike had been planning to go and see Angel, but a man stepped out from the shadows. Something hit Spike across the back of the head. At first there were stars. Then, another hit came and everything went black.

When he woke up, he was in the basement…or at least he thought it was a basement. His eyes wouldn't focus long enough to take in any details. But he felt awful. Worse than when he had been hung-over as a human. Every part of his body ached. He tried to sit up, but he couldn't. The effort of that small action made him pass out again.

_ It was 1880. William Pratt and his mother sat in their house. After a bad coughing fit, he helped his mother into her room. He knew it was bad, but he couldn't bear the thought. So when the vampire named Drusilla turned him, he knew. He knew he could help his mother in a way the doctor's had been unable to. So he turned her. But when she turned on him, and became dark inside, he staked her. It was one thing that had weighed heavy on him for the majority of his unlife._

When he came to, at first, he swore he saw her. The Slayer. But it wouldn't have been the first time his eyes had lied to him.

"_I don't trust what I see anymore. Don't know how to explain it exactly. Like I been seeing things. Dru used to see things, you know. She'd always be staring at the sky watching cherubs burn or the heavens bleed or some nonsense. I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely sack of hammers. But she'd see the sky when we were inside, and it'd make her so happy. She'd see showers, she'd see stars. Now I see her."_

So he comforted himself, singing the song his mother used to sing. After all, it couldn't hurt him anymore. He had already beaten the trigger. The vision of Buffy kept talking to him, and he'd respond, thinking back to the things the First had done, guarding his mind, putting up walls of defense. The Buffy vision started struggling. At first, he thought he had won. Then, she reached out. He almost laughed. The First was incorporeal. It couldn't touch him. But just as he was about to make a noise, her fingers touched his scalp. It was only a flutter of movement, but it was so real. It almost made him cry out. And then it was gone. She moved back against the pole behind her. He looked up at her, blinking to clear the haze still coating his eyes.

"Love, what are you doing here?" His voice was thick, and his speech slightly slurred. He closed his eyes, willing the pain in his head to go away. When he opened them again, her eyes were shining with unshed tears. She looked at him, with confusion on her face.

"I have no idea. Willow and I were talking, about you actually, and then the next thing I knew, everything went black." She sighed before continuing, "Spike, why didn't you tell me what had happened? Why didn't you tell me you came back?" She looked at him, her eyes full of pleading. She just wanted to understand. He forced himself into a sitting position.

"Because, pet, I wanted to deserve you." He dropped his head to his hands. "I couldn't even be the champion correctly. Hell, I couldn't even die properly." Spike realized that he could move. Slowly, he scooted closer to her. She reached out as he did and touched his cheek.

"We got away that day _because _of you. You were a champion that day, no matter what anyone else says." Buffy touched the wound on his cheek. "I meant it by the way." He looked up at her then. His eyes were starting to lose focus again, and the dizziness started to take over. Before he could reply, the darkness consumed him.

:~:~:~:

Buffy held his head in her lap, gently stroking his forehead. It still felt like a dream. She had thought she'd never be able to touch him again, and here she was, but something was wrong. They had been taken by somebody or something. For what purpose, she didn't know. She couldn't even imagine. And suddenly, she didn't care. They could fight it. They would fight it. Together. She closed her eyes, intending to come up with a plan, but she soon drifted off to sleep, her fingers still curled in his hair.

:~:~:~:

When Spike opened his eyes the next time, his mind was clear finally. He expected to see Buffy, but instead, he found himself hanging by ropes in the middle of a huge room. Around him, men in hooded cloaks chanted in a language Spike had never heard.

In the middle of the room, chained to another pole was Buffy. She was unconscious, and looked like someone had hit her across the face several times. Her mouth had tape over it. Fury rose, till it was all Spike could think about.

Spike struggled against the ropes holding him, not carrying when they chafed his wrists, making them bleed. All he could see was her. Finally, he had managed to loosen the ropes enough to get one hand out. The cloaked men kept chanting, not paying much attention to him. Spike got his other hand free just as Buffy regained consciousness. She looked up at him, then took in her surroundings.

The men started to walk towards her. Spike started forwards, knocking several of them out of the way. Two men tried to grab for him, but he threw them off. All he could se was her. And he knew, with utter certainty, that if the men touched her, it'd be all over. Some deep intuition told him that they planned to kill her. And he couldn't bear that thought. So he fought. He sustained a few broken bones in the process, but eventually, the men were all unconscious. He knelt down to her, her eyes wide.

"Are you okay, pet?" She nodded. "We need to get out of here. Can you walk?" Again, she nodded. He helped her stand. Leaning in to him, she walked, but it wasn't long before her legs buckled underneath her. He swung her up, carrying her as he hurried from the room.

Buffy had passed out sometime between the large room and leaving the building. The sunlight on her face woke her. She looked up and saw Spike, his arms wrapped around her. There was just one problem: it was daylight. That was how she knew. It was a dream. It had to be.

He set her down when he saw she was awake. She stared at him in disbelief. He pulled the tape off her mouth.

"We're not on Earth. We're in an alien realm. Angel told me once about his trip to another dimension. The same thing happened to him. The sunlight works differently here. We need to find a way to get home. Soon." Spike didn't mention the other things he had heard about Angel's trip to another dimension. At one point, the demon had taken over, and Angel had lost his humanity. Spike refused to let that happen. Especially when Buffy was around. So they walked. Every few steps, she'd shake her head and then look at him. She couldn't quite believe everything that had happened the last few days.

"Spike, what happened exactly? I mean, how is it you're back?" Spike stopped and looked at her carefully. The memory of coming back was still fresh in his mind, almost as if it had happened yesterday.

_ "Spike!"_

_** "**__Spike." _

_ "Blondie Bear?" Spike materialized in Angel's office at Wolfram & Hart, screaming out in pain from the flames that had raged from the inside out. Wesley spoke first, followed by Angel, and then Harmony. Spike was bent over in pain. Taking in his surroundings, he noticed a few familiar faces and some strangers. He glanced from face to face trying to figure everything out._

_ "What? What?" Harmony started towards him._

_ "What the hell are you doing here, Spike?" After that, everyone had started talking in rapid succession, and their conversation was hard for his already confused brain to follow. _

_ "William the Bloody. He's a vampire." Spike looked up then, hearing his name. "One of the worst recorded. Second only too…" Wesley explained to the small brunette girl until Angel interrupted him._

_ "Me." Spike turned and stared at Angel, trying to grasp anything he could about the situation. "But you're dead." Angel looked _

_ "Well, yeah. Who here isn't?" Harmony looked around pointing at the humans. "Besides him and him and her and…" She pointed to the green demon. "What are you, again?" Spike lunged for Angel, in full vamp face. Instead, he ended up right through him and ended up standing in the middle of Angel's desk._

_ "Bugger."_

Those first three months, when he was incorporeal and slipping back into Hell in certain moments were horrible. The brunette scientist, named Fred, ran all sorts of tests on him, trying to help. In the end, it was someone who wanted to get rid of Captain Forehead who had been responsible for bringing him back. But how could he tell her that? She looked up at him, and in that moment he knew. He had to tell her everything.

So, as they walked, he filled her in on everything that had happened. They stopped often, looking at each other as much as they could. They made their way to a village. Spike hoped to find someone, anyone, who had the capabilities to form a portal.

Back on Earth, Willow was trying to perform the advanced locator spell she had used when trying to find Spike. She hoped to find Buffy soon. So far, however, she hadn't had much luck. Dawn and Willow had gone to look for Spike after Willow had woken up on the park bench. They had hoped he would know something, or at least have an idea. But there was no sign of him.

Willow figured that her speech had made him feel discouraged and that he had taken off. So, she went with the locator spell. At first she did the simple one to find him. But there was no sign of him…anywhere. That was when Willow decided to start checking other dimensions.

"Come on! Why won't you work?!" Willow smacked her hands on the floor, anger and disappointment making her irritable. She started the spell again, focusing on another dimension. This time, she got a ping.

"Dawn! I think I found her! I need to check the books, but I think I can make a portal and bring her home!" Dawn came and sat on the floor beside Willow.

"That's great Will. How soon can we get her back?" Dawn looks at Willow hopefully. Willow sighed. She had no idea if she could even get her hands on the right book. Or if she could do the spell without going…dark. But she knew she had to try. So, she decided to make a call to the Coven.

:~:~:~:

Buffy and Spike had been walking for quite some time. It was strange that they had not run in to anybody. Not a single human, or demon, or animal. Nothing. But neither one of them noticed that. They were too busy talking…and watching one another. They were both still in disbelief.

So, it wasn't until they reached the village that they noticed something was wrong. All of the houses stood abandoned. There was no one. The whole village was empty. Buffy stopped and looked around.

"Something terrible has happened here." She turned, taking in her surroundings. "Whatever it was, it wiped everyone out. Instantly." She didn't know how, she just knew it was true.

"Whatever it was, we can't help. We have to keep moving, pet. The sooner we can get home the better." She nodded and followed him.

:~:~:~:

Willow's talk with the Coven had been good. They had told her that she would need to find a previous location of a portal. So, she went off in search of just such a location. By now, the sun was setting, and Willow had the feeling they were running out of time.

While Willow was walking around town, Angel popped out of the shadows scaring her. She stepped back glaring at him.

"What do you want?" She looked up at the vampire.

"I'm guessing you're looking for a portal site. Well, I want to help. And it just so happens that I know of two. I can help. I want to get Buffy back home." He looked at her, the desperation in his expression telling her he was being honest.

"Okay. Where is it?" She listened as he explained, and followed him to the library. When she stood on the spot where a previous portal had appeared, Willow could _feel_ the power emanating from it. She knew they were in the right spot. She started setting up for the ritual she would have to do to open the portal. When that was finished, she started the incantation.

:~:~:~:

Buffy and Spike had made it to the edge of the village. Here, they could see down into a valley. Every tree, every plant, everything was charred by the remains of some long extinguished fire. It was almost like someone had shined a magnifying glass over the valley, and the sun's rays had burnt everything to a crisp.

"Okay, that's creepy…" Buffy looked around, trying to find what could have caused it. But there were no clues. They kept walking. He helped her over a fallen tree.

"The sooner we get out of this realm, the better. Whatever has happened here, love, it can't be our concern. Home, that should be our concern." Spike took her hand and started walking again. They walked on for a little while, the horrid landscape making them both remain silent.

They had only gone a short distance before a man appeared. He seemed to form out of the mist. He was only a few feet away, but when he spoke, his voice was loud and booming.

"You have been brought here to stand before our council. Together, you have both broken many of our laws. You will be allowed to stand trial before we kill you." The man stepped towards them. Spike stepped in front of Buffy.

"I don't think you have the right people, mate. We haven't broken any of your laws. We're not even from around here. We're just passing through." The man made a hand gesture, and suddenly, it was as though Spike's body had been placed in a vise. Every inch of it felt like it was being squeezed. He fell to his knees, eyes watering in agony.

Buffy stepped in front of Spike. As she did, the man's spell ceased to effect him. He tried it on her, but for some reason, it wouldn't work.

"You will _NOT _do that again. Understood? Now, what exactly is it that we're supposed to have done?" She glared at the man, and he actually flinched.

"This. All of it." He waved his hands, showing the entirety of the valley. "Our sources say it happened right after you and your _vampire _came to our world." He spat the word 'vampire' as though it was a curse. As though he couldn't wait to get the word out of his mouth.

"That may be true, but we had nothing to do with this. _We _were brought here against our will. It was not as though we made a choice to come explore your realm. And now, we're just trying to get home." The man waved his hand again, and once again, it had no effect on her.

"What are you? My magic doesn't effect you at all, and it should…unless you're not human or demon." He looked at her, carefully trying to determine what she was.

"My name is Buffy Anne Summers. When I was fifteen, I was chosen. I was marked as a Slayer. _The _Slayer. I've fought more demons and vampires than you can count. I've died twice. The second time, my friends brought me back from the grave. I am human. But there's so much more to me than that. You wanna know why your powers don't work? I can't give you the answer to that, but I guarantee I will use it to my advantage." Buffy stepped towards the man again, and he turned and became mist again. He disappeared as quickly as he had formed.

She turned back and knelt down beside Spike, who was still reeling from the pain of the spell. The force of it had broken a few ribs, and the pain it had caused was still present, even if it was dissipating. She touched his forehead, and the action reminded her of the night he had attacked Andrew. It was the moment she had told him she saw him, saw the good side to him.

_ Buffy had been forced to knock him out. They chained him in the basement. The others didn't think it was safe, but Buffy had taken a rag and a bowl of water down to clean the blood off his face. From the moment he woke up, his regret was clear. But she saw something there. Something she had never admitted seeing before. Not to the others. Not to him. Not even to herself._

_ "Listen to me. You're not alive because of hate of pain. You're alive because I saw you change. Because I saw your penance." He lunged at her, as far as the chains would allow him to go._

_ "Window dressing." She didn't even flinch. She just looked at him, holding his gaze as she spoke._

_ "Be easier, wouldn't it? If it were an act? But it's not." She took a step towards him. "You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man, and you can be. You _ARE_. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike." He had looked up at her then with a look on his face as though he had never quite seen her before._

Spike stirred, shaking Buffy from the memory. He looked up at her, shock on his face.

"What happened?" She touched his cheek a moment, more to reassure herself that he really was real.

"Big magic misty guy put some type of spell on you. For some reason, it wouldn't work on me. By the way, I agree with you about the whole getting out of here thing. Like, now." She helped him stand up, and noticed he was walking rather gingerly.

Slowly, they started walking again. They made their way to the bottom of the valley. The sunshine never changed, never ceased. Something about that was odd to Buffy, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. They hadn't gone very far when a shimmering mist surrounded them. Spike had reached out for her, nearly losing his balance, but catching himself on her arm. Everything went black, but Buffy could feel Spike's hand. That was the only thing that mattered suddenly. It was the only thing that kept the blackness from taking over. He anchored her. And in that moment, she knew. She knew with everything she had.

They stumbled into a room full of lights. Around the outer edges were figures in hooded cloaks. All together there were probably about fifteen to twenty people. Buffy took in the surroundings, but suddenly, it didn't matter anymore. They could face whatever this realm threw at them. As long as they didn't get separated again they would be fine…better than fine.

Buffy turned and looked at Spike. His expression mirrored hers absolutely. It almost would have made her laugh. But then, the booming voice from before broke through the moment.

"You stand before the tribunal of this realm. You are accused of destroying the village of Ram's Strumpet and the valley it was in. What do you have to say in your own defense?" The man appeared on a raised dais in the middle of the room. He looked down on them. Buffy stepped forward, knowing that if Spike did, the man would try more magic. But he couldn't touch her.

"We have been brought here by mistake. We did not come to your realm of our own free will. And we certainly didn't destroy the village of…" Buffy had a hard time keeping a straight face. She was sure the translation was different for this realm than it was to her. "Ram's Strumpet. Or the valley." The man glared down at her.

"Do you deny that you are a witch of great power? Do you deny that you have the power to block my spells?" This drew murmurs from all around the room.

"I am NOT a witch. I do not have any power to perform magic. However, I am not affected by your spells. I don't deny that."

Again, there were murmurs all around the room. Spike pulled her hand, pulling her back against him. She felt safe, and somehow stronger with him there.

"The tribunal finds both of you guilty. You will undergo the Trial of Fire until we decide you permanent punishment." The man waved his hand, and Spike disappeared. Buffy found herself standing alone in the room, but it was completely empty and sparsely lit. Suddenly, everything went dark.

:~:~:~:

One minute, he had been holding her, holding Buffy, in his arms. He had thought that'd never happen again. But it had. And it had been…amazing. And then the next thing he knew, he woke up in a room surrounded by fire.

His first thought was of her. Where was she? Looking around the room, it was clear she wasn't here. He watched as the fire slowly started to progress inwards. Soon, he realized there was no way out, except to go _through _the fire.

"Bloody hell." he said under his breath. Just as he started forwards, planning on running through the wall of fire as fast as possible, a voice spoke.

"The only way out is through the fire. On the other side, the girl faces her fears, and only you can stop them. Only you can stop her from meeting her ultimate end." It felt like something had reached out and squeezed Spike's heart in a vise. He knew he had to get to her, and to hell with the consequences. He bolted towards the fire. He barely felt it as it touched his skin, licking it with it's flames. All he thought about was her. Getting to her, being with her.

:~:~:~:

Buffy forced her eyes open. At first, here eyelids didn't want to open. But her willpower overcame her tiredness. That's when she took in her surroundings for the first time. She was in a hole…full of dirt. The dirt got everywhere. When she breathed, it got in her nose. It crusted her eyes. When the panic became too much and she opened her mouth involuntarily to scream, it got in her mouth. She spat it out, trying to get rid of it.

She started clawing her way out, reaching blindly, trying to get to the top. It felt like she spent an eternity clawing and hadn't made much progress. Her arms were getting tired and she was running out of air. Suddenly, it seemed like it would be best to give up. Like it would be so much better if she did, better for everyone. Her arms stopped reaching.

Just as she was about to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, giving up completely, a hand reached down through the soil. The skin was red in some places and burnt black in others. But there was strength behind it. It reached for her, and she reached back, grasping it in her own hand. The arm behind the hand pulled her up out of the hole. She fell to the tile floor, collapsing against someone. It took her a minute to realize that the burnt person holding her, stroking her hair, was actually Spike. She looked up into his eyes, her own eyes still full of tears. He bent his mouth to hers and kissed her. In that moment, they lost themselves. It didn't matter that they were in a strange realm full of people that were trying to kill them. All that mattered was that they were together. And that was the moment it happened.

:~:~:~:

The air of the library started to shimmer, telling Willow that the spell had gone right. She screamed in triumph and stepped through. At first, she didn't see anything, but as her eyes adjusted, she found herself standing in a room very similar to the library. At first it didn't appear that anyone was in the room. Her eyes surveyed the room, finally landing on the huddled forms in the corner. She noticed the big pit of dirt, and that Buffy's clothes were covered in it. She couldn't make out who the other figure was, but she had a guess. She raced towards them.

"Buffy! It worked. It really worked!" Buffy looked up her with hysterical eyes. Willow could see Spike now, could see the burns on every inch of him that was visible. Willow reached out and helped them both up.

"Come on. I can get us home." She said the incantation to open a portal, and the air shimmered again. She made the other two go in front of her, in case there were any problems. All three landed on the other side of the portal without issue. Spike immediately fell to his knees, weakness from his burns draining him. Buffy went to him, holding him as he passed out. Together, they got him back to the hotel. Willow did a simple healing spell, and with some pig's blood, he started to heal.

Willow wanted to ask her friend what had happened, but every time she tried, Buffy brushed her off.

:~:~:~:

The next few days flew by in a flash. Buffy and Spike suddenly understood just how precious each moment together was, and they decided not to waste any single second. Spike agreed to go back with Buffy. As the burns and scars faded from his skin, so did the memories of what had happened to them in the other realm. They decided to put the past behind them and live for the present. Together they trained the Slayers, searching for others when the need arouse, and fighting off vampires and demons. Together. They had walked through the fire and come out the other side. They were better for it, they were better together.


End file.
